Funny Letter
I heard this letter way back when and found it online wanting to share:
Dear Son:
I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last Mississippi family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sure said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payments on Grandma's funeral, up she comes.
About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He is cutting grass in the cemetery.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried pull him out, but he fought them off playfully so he drowned. We cremated him. He burned for three days
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up, one was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down.
Not much more news this time, nothing much has happened. Write more often.
Love,
Mom
I heard this letter way back when and found it online wanting to share:
Dear Son:
I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last Mississippi family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sure said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payments on Grandma's funeral, up she comes.
About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He is cutting grass in the cemetery.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried pull him out, but he fought them off playfully so he drowned. We cremated him. He burned for three days
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up, one was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down.
Not much more news this time, nothing much has happened. Write more often.
Love,
Mom
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